| Sunday, June 25, 2006 |
| Captivated. |
Written: 4/24/06
Lately it has become apparent that alot of my prayers have been answered in great abundance. About 6 months ago or so, I went through a phase where I had become kind of lonely, listening to some of the lies in my head telling me I was alone and that there was a couple of heavy burdens weighting over me that I more than deserved, both of which I had felt were brought upon out of my own doing. I began to tell myself that this was as good as my life was going to get, without any good friends or spiritual fellowship I would have to just trust God and make the best of the cards that had been dealt to me.
After a while though, as anyone would tell you who has gone through the same things, I became weary, wondering if this really was what God had intended. It became apparent to me that I wasn't even asking God to relieve the stress that had fallen on me, and I had almost forgotten how he desires to be a part of my life and love me unconditionally, whether I deserved it or not.
As I began praying for this relief along with a more fulfilling fellowship with other followers of Christ, I became friends with Danielle Cullers, a freshman who had been home schooled, and was now daily riding the shuttle with me from ASU West to Main. Throughout the semester we became better friends, and as she began to re-introduce me to some of her friends that also took the shuttle, some of which I had met previously through another friend of mine.
She had been trying to encourage me to attend a women's bible study that her church was organizing, and I had been hesitant since I didn't know any of the girls and I wasn't sure that I would have time for that kind of commitment. After a while though she convinced me and I decided to go. The study turned out to be pretty good, and I saw some of the girls that I already knew from the bus or through my other friends. I started to regularly attend and become pretty good friends with the group of people associated with the study, and when we started a new semester with the book captivating, I knew I had found my place.
The book itself is amazing, and if you are a girl searcing for your place in Christ or even a man wishing to know more about a womans heart placed in the image of God I encourage you to read it. These girls were honest with their feelings and struggles within their spiritual lives, and helped me to feel more honest with myself and my own struggles.
God was answering my prayers and placing me within a fellowship where I could glorify Him, and understand myself better as a woman in Christ, and not just a lonely girl in college. That loneliness was simply a tool of the enemy who wanted nothing more than for me to become so lonely that indeed I forgot about the love of Christ and took everything into my own control to make sure I wouldn't be hurt again.
I learned that nothing is too big for him and that his love is bigger and more abundant than any sin I can inflict upon myself. I also learned that sometimes it's ok to be alone in wonder with God as long as you don't lose sight of him and are lovingly heald accountable for that relationship through other Christians. It is amazing how much understanding and forgiveness you feel once you give your life up to Him and devote yourself to prayer when those feeling of lonliness and unworthiness start to re-enter your mind.
I would like to sincerely thank the girls of this study who have helped me to remember a loving God who wishes to eternally romance me and enrich my heart. Since this study life has become a quiet joy to live constantly endearing and satisfying, knowing that God is indeed captivating my heart and making my daily routine a part of his gigantic and perfect will. Thank you girls, and Thank you God, it means so much more than you can imagine.
Missy. last remembered on 6/25/2006 03:12:00 PM
